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Sibling Rivalry
About Sibling Rivalry

Any parent with more than one child
knows that children can become jealous
of each other and will compete not only
for their parents affection, but for
various other reasons.

We believe that a certain amount of
competition between siblings is normal
and healthy, however many problems
can arise when the competition becomes
too intense or destructive in nature.

What To Do About It

First, be careful not to demonstrate a
special preference for one child or to
identify with one child to other people.  
Children pick up on this.  On the other
hand, it is OK to express such
preference on special occasions, such as
birthdays, provided you make each child
special on such days.  

A child's temperament is considered to
have three components, emotional
intensity, activity level and sociability.  
On a day to day basis, you may find that
each child needs a different level of
support in each component than the
others.  Make sure that you are aware
of when they notice the different levels,
and make sure that you spend quality
time with each child.

Unless there is danger of physical harm,
don't interfere with competitive spats.  
You want to avoid the situation where
one sibling is waiting for you to come to
the rescue each time.  If you do have to
step in, try to resolve the situation with
your kids not for them. (An interesting
technique in helping your children to
solve problems, is to make it clear, that
if you have to step in, then neither
sibling will be happy about it...)
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