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Children Age 1-5 Years
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Resources
Child raising portals specifically for
children in these age groups
These are topics that people ask about all of
the time, there are discussion forums and
community groups with each
the time, there are discussion forums and
community groups with each
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the Child Care Community
Discussion Group, to get help
from other Parents!
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please write to sara@parentingwithsara.com
guides to doing a good and thorough job in those
challenging first time tasks that parents come
across. If you have suggestions or additions
please write to sara@parentingwithsara.com
Welcome to ParentingwithSara.com
featuring Parenting Advice, Child
Care and Child Raising Advice. Sara
not only has children and grand
children, but also has a degree in
Psychology, a masters degree in
Family Counseling and was a family
specialist in Lousville, Ky for more
than 10 years.
featuring Parenting Advice, Child
Care and Child Raising Advice. Sara
not only has children and grand
children, but also has a degree in
Psychology, a masters degree in
Family Counseling and was a family
specialist in Lousville, Ky for more
than 10 years.
Dear Sara answers parenting and child raising
questions from readers, new columns are
posted on Mondays and Thursdays, this column
was published September 17, 2009
Dear Sara,
I have a pregnant stepdaughter, 20,
who is due around the first week of
Oct. She moved in with us one year
ago this past July and has caused
nothing but trouble and drama for
us.
No job, too lazy to get out of bed to
work. It’s a task for her to even get
dressed for the day. It was also the
same before she was “preggo.” The
boyfriend she has also has no job,
does drugs and has already been in
rehab for drinking. Oh my, oh my.
I am at my wits end and so is her
Dad. We have a little boy(7) and I
feel she is jealous of “our little
family.” It’s almost like she is
jealous of him and us being happy
together.
Her Dad works away 6 weeks at a
time, then he is home for 12 days,
then has to go again for another 6
weeks etc. He is at the point that
when he gets back, he is putting her
into an apartment, even if he has to
pay for it himself. It’s really that
bad. Her Mom is in another
province, divorced from her second
husband and living with a guy
approximately 15 years younger
than her. That’s why the daughter
had moved in with us in the first
place.
I feel that putting her into an
apartment (she’s on income
support) would make everyone
happier and at peace. She’s a very
difficult person to get along with.
No matter what you do for her, it’s
not good enough. Almost like the
world owes her something. She
cares about no one but herself. Just
last week, she caused a big fight
within the family to the point I
almost took our son and moved out.
It’s Really that bad! Any advice?
Polly
Dear Polly,
I can see at least three problems
here. The first is that your husband
isn’t around to deal with his daughter’
s problems. This leaves it up to you
and you probably don’t have much
authority over his daughter. The
second problem is that your
stepdaughter is either very immature
or is on drugs along with her
boyfriend. The third thing is that if
you help her out financially, then she
might turn around and give money to
her boyfriend for drugs.
You and your husband seem to agree
that she needs to move out. This
might be a good idea since she seems
way too dependent on having
someone else take care of her. It
would probably be best if you moved
her out before the baby gets here.
She may not be much help now in
moving but she will be less help if she
has a baby to contend with as well.
Maybe your husband could sit down
with his daughter and help her do a
budget so that he can see exactly
how much money she will need. It’s
possible that any extra could go to
boyfriend’s drug habit. You want her
to be as independent as possible
without being an enabler to her or
boyfriend’s drug use.
If she stays in your home after the
baby is born, you may end up taking
care of the baby. It’s really easy to
get attached to a sweet little baby
and then your stepdaughter would be
able to manipulate you by taking the
baby away. She needs to be on her
own and independent now ,anyway.
It appears that she has taken
advantage of you and made problems
in your family but try not to abandon
her totally. She still needs someone
to care about her and watch over her
and the baby. She might appreciate
being invited over for dinner once a
week or so or having someone with
experience help her out with the baby
for a while. You could be a blessing
and a role model in her life for a
while. Good luck.
Sara
questions from readers, new columns are
posted on Mondays and Thursdays, this column
was published September 17, 2009
Dear Sara,
I have a pregnant stepdaughter, 20,
who is due around the first week of
Oct. She moved in with us one year
ago this past July and has caused
nothing but trouble and drama for
us.
No job, too lazy to get out of bed to
work. It’s a task for her to even get
dressed for the day. It was also the
same before she was “preggo.” The
boyfriend she has also has no job,
does drugs and has already been in
rehab for drinking. Oh my, oh my.
I am at my wits end and so is her
Dad. We have a little boy(7) and I
feel she is jealous of “our little
family.” It’s almost like she is
jealous of him and us being happy
together.
Her Dad works away 6 weeks at a
time, then he is home for 12 days,
then has to go again for another 6
weeks etc. He is at the point that
when he gets back, he is putting her
into an apartment, even if he has to
pay for it himself. It’s really that
bad. Her Mom is in another
province, divorced from her second
husband and living with a guy
approximately 15 years younger
than her. That’s why the daughter
had moved in with us in the first
place.
I feel that putting her into an
apartment (she’s on income
support) would make everyone
happier and at peace. She’s a very
difficult person to get along with.
No matter what you do for her, it’s
not good enough. Almost like the
world owes her something. She
cares about no one but herself. Just
last week, she caused a big fight
within the family to the point I
almost took our son and moved out.
It’s Really that bad! Any advice?
Polly
Dear Polly,
I can see at least three problems
here. The first is that your husband
isn’t around to deal with his daughter’
s problems. This leaves it up to you
and you probably don’t have much
authority over his daughter. The
second problem is that your
stepdaughter is either very immature
or is on drugs along with her
boyfriend. The third thing is that if
you help her out financially, then she
might turn around and give money to
her boyfriend for drugs.
You and your husband seem to agree
that she needs to move out. This
might be a good idea since she seems
way too dependent on having
someone else take care of her. It
would probably be best if you moved
her out before the baby gets here.
She may not be much help now in
moving but she will be less help if she
has a baby to contend with as well.
Maybe your husband could sit down
with his daughter and help her do a
budget so that he can see exactly
how much money she will need. It’s
possible that any extra could go to
boyfriend’s drug habit. You want her
to be as independent as possible
without being an enabler to her or
boyfriend’s drug use.
If she stays in your home after the
baby is born, you may end up taking
care of the baby. It’s really easy to
get attached to a sweet little baby
and then your stepdaughter would be
able to manipulate you by taking the
baby away. She needs to be on her
own and independent now ,anyway.
It appears that she has taken
advantage of you and made problems
in your family but try not to abandon
her totally. She still needs someone
to care about her and watch over her
and the baby. She might appreciate
being invited over for dinner once a
week or so or having someone with
experience help her out with the baby
for a while. You could be a blessing
and a role model in her life for a
while. Good luck.
Sara